I can't believe we already have a one week old! How?! I may or may not have cried about it.
Here’s all the details on how our sweet little girl made her way into this world on
November 18th, 2015!
And really, I mean all the details - fair warning!
Ben and I were getting ready for bed the night of the 16th when I said, “It’d be really cool to have my water break because then you know you’re going to have a baby soon. You don’t have to wait around wondering if the contractions you’re feeling are actually going to put you into real labor.” My baby must have gotten the hint because not more than 2 hours after that I started having a few mild contractions. They were stronger than the braxton-hicks I’d been having throughout my pregnancy but they weren’t anything major. I decided to try to get some sleep because I wanted to be as rested as possible if this was IT. When I was right on the verge of a deep sleep, I felt a little-bitty gush. I got up to check things out and I could immediately tell by the sweet scent that it was amniotic fluid. I texted my mom in Arizona to let her know what was going on so she could make her way out to San Diego. When I woke Ben up to tell him that my water had broke he responded “You peed your pants?!?!” which made me laugh and then I could really tell my water was definitely broken! I called the midwife on call to give her a heads up and then tried to get some sleep since I wasn’t having any big contractions just yet.
My mom and grandmother got to our house around 10 am and I still wasn’t showing any signs of progression. At noon, Ben and I went into the birth center and had things checked out since they like to see some signs of labor starting within 12 hours. I was three centimeters at that time so we tried to kick things in gear by sweeping my membranes and inserting a foley balloon to help dilate me further. We went back home and my contractions started growing in intensity and soon they were coming every 1 1/2 - 2 minutes and lasting a minute long. Some were a little longer, which meant I literally had contractions that were on top of each other and they stayed that way for about 14 hours. The foley balloon was supposed to come out on its own once I had reached a four. I worked through my contractions with squats, rocking on my hands and knees, swaying my hips back and forth, and going for a couple long walks. The foley still hadn’t come out which meant I hadn’t even dilated one centimeter. So here I was with these intense contractions (that were made more intense by the fact that the foley was irritating my uterus) thinking that I hadn’t made any progress at all.
Around 12:30 am we went back into the birth center to have them try to see what we could do. It turns out the balloon that was supposed to be sitting right at my cervix was actually up past Caisley’s head. So unless her head was actively coming out, that balloon wasn’t going to be either. After finding out I had in fact made it to a four, my motivation was restored and I was recommitted to working through the contractions and having the natural birth I’d been envisioning for months. We headed up to the tub where I labored for a few more hours. The midwives mentioned that the “shivering” I was doing was a sign of being in transition. In my mind, that was great news because I thought that things would be ending soon. When I was feeling like I needed to push, the midwife checked me again. I was 100% effaced but only FIVE CENTIMETERS dilated.
At this point, after no sleep for 40 hours (minus a 4 hour nap, I’d been awake since 8am the morning of the 16th), having my water broken for 26 hours, and working through 14 hours of nearly constant contractions, I felt so defeated. I knew right away I did not have the strength to make it another five centimeters and the pushing stage.
I told the midwives “I cannot do this.” I know that women in labor say that all the time and then they do have natural births, but I really could not do it. I felt like if I had been at least seven centimeters that I might have had the strength to keep going. But hearing that I was only at a five felt like a slap in the face. So around 4:15 am we left the birth center and headed to the hospital to see my back up doctor. I had thought about asking the midwives what the chances of me having a c-section were if I went to the hospital, but at that point I really didn’t care if that option was on the table.
On the car ride there I had worse pain than what I had been feeling before, but it was not as bad as I felt answering 1,000,000 questions from the nurses before the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. If there’s any way to convey the pain of labor to someone who doesn’t know, just think about the fact that inserting a giant needle in-between your vertebrae into your cerebrospinal fluid sounds like a better option than continuing to feel contractions. I could tell it was intense because of the look on Ben’s face as he watched the doctor prep but I was so ready to not be in pain anymore. Once it kicked in I was so relieved. We monitored my progress for a bit (I was still at a five even after the epidural which I finally got around 6 am) and then my mom and grandmother went back to the hotel to get some rest and Ben and I napped too.
Mom & Gran came back around noon. I was happy that I didn’t end up getting pitocin since I had been making progress on my own every time they checked me. Once I was on the verge of a ten, the nurses had me do some “test” pushes. They brought out a mirror for me to watch as I pushed which I was so excited about! Once we could see that her head was staying down in between the contractions, they called in Dr. Vu who was so awesome. He was recommended as a back up doctor by the birth center. We’d met earlier in my pregnancy and talked about all the things that I wanted if I did end up at the hospital. Even though the hospital I was at had a policy of completing a c-section after 28 hours of your water breaking, Dr. Vu said he was comfortable moving forward with what I wanted. He also made sure that he followed through with my requests not to have an episiotomy, delay the clamping of the cord, and have immediate skin to skin contact with babe.
In total I pushed for just over an hour while watching in the mirror the whole time! Once her head had crowned, Dr. Vu told me to stop pushing and watch my body work all on its own to push her head out the rest of the way. That was such an amazing moment. Once I pushed to get her shoulders and arms out I reached down and grabbed her and pulled her the rest of the way out and up onto my chest. And there she was!
Caisley Sue Dehne
6 lbs 15 oz 19 inches
Born at 4:02 p.m.
The doctor had Ben feel the cord that was still pumping blood to our baby girl. After a few minutes, daddy got to clamp and cut the cord! We stayed skin to skin for at least an hour before they weighed and measured her.
Before we left the hospital, the chaplain came in and gave a special blessing over Caisley & I thought it was the perfect way to honor her arrival.
“Oh Most Holy One, thank you for the gift of this precious life. We ask for your blessing as we welcome this baby into the world. May your precious child always know Your presence as You love them, bless them, and guide them throughout the days of their life. May your little one always know the comfort of a loving family. May these parents be blessed with the joy and love that this new life brings. May this family grow together in wisdom and grace. May they trust in Your Goodness always.”
I won't lie, I'm disappointed that I didn't give birth naturally. Especially since I've been going to the birth center I've met so many women who were able to do it, I felt like I should have been able to too. During our birth classes the instructor did a class on what would happen if you went to the hospital and how to deal with that situation. She explained that sometimes moms are in labor for so long and once they get the epidural they are able to relax enough to progress much quicker. I listened but I was so sure that was never going to be me. Low and behold I was so wrong. Although it wasn’t what I had imagined, Caisley’s birth was the most amazing experience of my entire life. I absolutely love that I was able to enjoy and appreciate every moment.
It’s amazing how immediately she became our entire world. We are so in love & we honestly cannot believe that we get to be her parents. Becoming a family of three has been the most amazing adventure we’ve had so far
- and it’s just beginning!
Social Icons