Louella's Birth Story

I don't quite remember being fully asleep which is a lot like the way my birth with Caisley started. Around 1AM I felt a little gush and got up out of bed. I figured it was my water breaking but I had swab from the midwife that would change color with the presence of amniotic fluid so I wanted to check before I woke anyone up. I went out to the living room and grabbed it from my diaper bag then went into the guest bathroom to use it. It turned blue immediately - indicating it was indeed amniotic fluid. I went back to our bedroom to actually use the bathroom and put a pad on and tell Ben (who was supposed to be up for work in just two hours) that it was time! 

That was about the only similarity between my two labors. 

And honestly, I’m counting my lucky stars that that was the case.

Contractions started five to ten minutes later and I was so relieved that both my baby and my body were ready this time. The contractions started off mild but were about 3 minutes apart from the get-go. I sent a text message to the midwife to let her know my water had broken and then realizing I should probably call, I did. She suggested that I try to rest if possible and I thought the same since I wasn’t sure how long it would be before Lou was actually here. I laid in bed for just a bit but once I knew I wouldn't be able to get any sleep I got up and brought my yoga ball into the room. Ben got up and brought in the diffuser with some lavender to help comfort me. Then he started cleaning the house because he knew it would have driven me crazy to labor with it being a mess. Luckily there wasn't a ton that needed to be done. It was mostly the dishes from that night that I had decided to put off until morning. Score for getting out of that one! *sarcasm*

I sat on the yoga ball and labored beside our bed listening to my hypnobabies audio tracks almost the entire time. I remember being so uncomfortable by the time I finally tried the yoga ball when I was in labor with Caisley but this time it was the only position where things felt manageable. With each contraction, or pressure wave, I should say if I'm staying true to the hypno-philosophy, I took deep breaths and kept telling myself to relax and open. That was my only job for those eight hours before pushing began.

I really relied on hypnobabies to help keep myself focused and relaxed and I swear by it. I remember watching videos of moms who used hypnobabies during their births thinking “Yeah right, there’s no way that would work for me.” But it totally did. I’m not going to lie to you and say that it wasn’t painful because it freaking was. However, I really believe your thought process throughout labor makes such a difference and I found it so much easier to cope with the intensity of everything this time around.

At about 2AM I asked Ben if he would make me waffles. I was so hungry and they sounded so good. Some time between then and 4AM I brought the yoga ball out to the living room where he was watching TV. Before you judge him, I kind of just wanted to be alone and do my own thing so he was occupying his time after making sure I had all that I needed. After a bit, I thought it might feel good to have him rub my neck and shoulders. When I thought about my labor while I was pregnant I really thought I'd want to be massaged during it. Wow, was I wrong. Being touched just felt like way too much of a sensory overload. I stayed in the living room for a little while longer but as my contractions increased in intensity, I felt like I needed to be back in the bedroom with my hypnobabies tracks.

I tried a few different laboring positions on the bed and even tried to lay down around 4AM because I was feeling really tired by that point. Between the time I went to bed and the time my water broke I had a nap of three hours - max. Laying down felt horrific. I can't believe they make women labor like that! Ow. I got back on the yoga ball beside the bed and rocked gently with the contractions remembering to take deep breaths and reminding myself to relax.

At 5:30AM my midwife let me know that she was on her way to another birth about five minutes from our house. The full moon, I tell ya! That mama was delivering baby number seven and was known to go quick. I wasn't concerned at all and had total confidence that she'd be able to attend that birth and then my own. I just really had this whole sense of calm during the entire process which I’m grateful for. Around the same time, my mom was just getting to our house with cinnamon rolls per my request. Major sweet tooth, apparently. 

After eating again and laboring for a bit, I was really wanting someone to check and see if I had dilated at all. Caitlyn sent her assistant Kayla over at about 7AM but we never did any cervical checks. I just kept laboring beside the bed on the ball. Shortly after she got there, she and Ben asked if I was ready to get into the birth pool in our living room. I wasn't ever dead set on having a water-birth and kind of just felt like I wanted to see how it all would go and if it happened, it happened. I decided to get into our bathtub first to see how it felt. I took so many baths during this pregnancy and I really envisioned myself giving birth in our tub. 

As I was getting in, I told Ben "I think she's going to be here soon." I didn't know this at the time, but at that point Ben thought we'd end up at the hospital again like we did with Caisley. When I was "ready" last time, I was only 5cm dilated. However, this time the feeling was completely different. It wasn't a statement of "I'm ready to be done with this process and get this baby out" like it was with Caisley, but more of a sense of preparedness for the next phase of labor. I felt so much more connected to my body this time and so much more in control of myself and my ability to trust what my body was able to do.

The warm water provided so much relief so while I was in the bath they started filling up the birth pool. I asked Ben to ask my mom to make me a smoothie. Looking back I can really see how my body was preparing for the birth and I’m so happy that I was home where I could eat and drink as I pleased! I made my way to the living room around 8AM. The water was deeper in the birthing pool and I felt like I could relax even more there. I played the “Pushing Your Baby Out” hypnobabies tracks because I could tell that things were changing and I truly felt as though it wouldn't be long before she was born. At one point, the speaker on the audio track is talking about how it might feel good to say “Ahhhhhh” and I started laughing and then so did everyone else because it was so incredibly corny sounding. 

My midwife Caitlyn still wasn't there at this point. 

Shortly after I got into the birth pool she left her other mama, who still hadn't given birth yet, to come to me. She was at our house by 8:30AM.

Caitlyn was there for about twenty to thirty minutes before I started bearing down during contractions. These first few contractions where I felt my body starting to push didn't feel very effective. I think that was partially because of my position (back against the edge of the tub in a semi-seated/floating position) and partially because I didn't trust that I was fully dilated and ready to go since I hadn't had any cervical checks at this point. Caitlyn reassured me by letting me know to just go with it if I could feel my body curling up around the contractions. With that reassurance, I put my trust in what was happening and let my body do its job to get her out. 

When I felt tension in my face while I was pushing I would re-direct that focus down to Lou. It wasn't my face that needed to be doing the work. I kept envisioning her moving down with each contraction. When I felt like I needed it, I asked Ben to come hold my hand. It's amazing how much being able to squeeze it during each contraction helped. My mom brought a damp, cold wash cloth for my head and held my other hand. 

I had a hard time letting go of each contraction as they ended, still bearing down during the breaks between them but Caitlyn did a great job of reminding me to relax and prepare for the next one. Those fleeting moments of rest are so glorious amidst all that pain.

At 9:07AM with Caitlyn's instructions, I got up onto my knees, leaning my arms out over the edge of the tub, hoping that a position change might be more effective for bringing Louella through the birth canal. Which totally worked. I could immediately feel the difference in the progress that was being made. To which I noted by saying "Fuck this." Because that shit does not feel good. 

I had been quiet throughout labor until this point. With each push I was groaning, feeling my body bringing her down, but remembering to keep my tones low (as in low pitched, not quiet). There was a point where Ben let go of my hand to do Lord knows what but I was flailing mine around, unable to vocalize that I needed it back immediately. 

I didn't know until I watched my birth video, but Caisley was sitting right on my mom's lap, inches from me watching this unfold. My grandmother had taken her out on a walk just before the midwife got there and they returned in the thick of things. She was so quiet and full of wonder, taking it in with only a hint of apprehension in her face. I really loved that she was able to be there for her sister's arrival. All those water birth YouTube videos we watched must have helped prepare her!

Caitlyn reached in to feel for baby and when she didn't say anything I asked "Am I not at a ten?" to which she replied "Oh girl, you're way passed ten. You're at like a 13. Her head is right here." With the next contraction I could feel her move down even more. Caitlyn said with each push she was moving down about an inch. That’s a whole lot when you consider the average length of a woman’s vaginal canal is just shy of 4 inches.

When I could feel the ring of fire that was her crowning, I was actually relieved. I knew she'd be out soon. Once her head was out, Caitlyn had me flip into the position I was in before with my back against the side of the tub. I could see her head and I wished so badly that they could just pull her out the rest of the way. One of Lou's arms was behind her back, making her a bit wider at the shoulders that she should have been if she’d be positioned properly. Caitlyn pulled it forward and with one last push she was out and up on my chest. She cried right away so loudly. We called her a little pterodactyl (you know, the flying dinosaur). I was so relieved and proud. 

Throughout the entire birthing process I felt so supported and empowered. I was so proud of myself and I remember saying "I did it!" (which you can actually kind of see in her birth video) and then I asked for the time which was 9:21AM. Fourteen minutes had passed from the time I really started pushing until the time she was earth-side. Watching Caisley see her new baby sister for the first time was so special and it really was such a magical, perfect moment.

It took a little bit of effort to deliver the placenta and I have to give another push for it to come out. Once it was out, I started bleeding and the pool filled with blood pretty quickly. We moved into our bedroom where Caitlyn started pushing on my abdomen to get my uterus to contract while her assistant gave me some liquid herbs that were supposed to do the same. Thankfully they got the bleeding under control and I didn't end up needing a shot of pitocin. Caitlyn did have to keep "massaging" my abdomen to keep my uterus firm though which is honestly almost just as bad as labor itself. 

I didn't have any tears which shocked me because I felt like I was a canyon down there. 

Super flattering imagery, huh? You're welcome for that.

It's amazing how you can wish to relive one of the most intensely painful moments of your life over and over again. Those hormones are powerful things! I promise I was not feeling that way immediately after labor but it only took a few days for me to change my mind.

I think I did a much better job of preparing myself for labor this time around. Anytime I was in my car I listened to The Birth Hour podcast which really helped give me realistic expectations. I highly recommend that podcast! I was also able to witness and film an incredible home birth shortly before my own. That mama’s strength and grace totally helped guide me - she used hypnobabies too! And finally, being at home, in a place I felt completely comfortable, really made a world of difference. 

Towards the end of my pregnancy I drank a TON of red raspberry leaf herbal tea. I mean 16 tea bags worth everyday for the last three weeks or so. I can’t prove that it helped make my contractions more effective but you can bet I’ll be doing that again for baby #3! Lastly I had an amazing birth team. I am so grateful to Caitlyn, my wonderful midwife, her assistant Kayla, my Mom and Ben for supporting me throughout my labor.

Everything went exactly as we had planned which is so not normal! It honestly could not have been a better experience. Louella Jean is now three weeks old. She is a sweet, easy soul and we are so thankful that she belongs to us. It feels like she was always meant to be. We love you, baby Lou girl.